My Journey From Creative To Entrepreneur

🎬Episode 6- The heart break and Leap of Faith.💔😩😭🥺💫

I think the letter finally came in sometime during the weekend, asking me to resume on Monday. But at this point, I knew I was not taking the job.

More than ever before, I was sure God wanted me to run my own thing, and working for someone else would not give me the time to face what he wanted me to do, like I should. I didn't exactly get the full picture at the time, it didn't really make sense to me yet, but I made up my mind to obey.

I don't even know how I just obeyed without thinking twice, because now that I think about it, that was my dream job right there. That was all I had been praying to God for.

My friend was looking at me like I was mad when I told her I wasn’t taking the job. And her feelings were valid. I would have thought I was mad too. But I explained to her that it was an instruction from God. Then she said something like "Maura you’re not a baby, you’re turning 27 next year, ...." I cannot remember the exact words that followed, but they were words that hurt me and pierced me deep. Something that communicated that I did not have sense, I had no ambition, I was wasting away my life, or I was plain stupid." That was the last time she saw me or had access to my space.

And here's why!

It’s one thing not to understand and believe in what a person is doing, it’s another thing to be verbally abusive and consistently attack a person’s character.

And this was not the first time. She had done this consistently, so It had been long coming!

You know the type of people that you walk on eggshells around, the type you open up yourself bare to, try to communicate your heart to, but would still judge your actions, inactions and intentions based off their own trauma, character flaws, and limiting beliefs, that's such a toxic place to be.

You cannot tell them when they are wrong, or when something hurts you and they would be emotionally intelligent enough to see things from your angle, take responsibility, and apologize. And they would never truly listen to you, or hear you out. You literally have to explain yourself all the time, and even when you do, they would still believe what they want to believe about you, and go about telling others, the same thing about you.

Have you ever been in a place like that? like you’re literally looking at this person like,"this person you’re describing is not me oh. Like you’re clearly misunderstanding me."

It’s worse when their mind is all made up, and they don’t let you explain yourself.

Let me just tell you, at times like this, it’s really not usually about you. It’s really their issues and deep seated trauma showing up. So there’s really no point, Just take your L and go.

Btw, there is a balance to this oh! Sometimes people are really just calling you out on your excesses. So you have to be very honest, self introspective, and truthful with yourself to gauge which is which.

The thing about me is when you say something about me or complain about something, even if I disagree, I have the ability to sit with myself, ask myself the hard questions, open myself up before the HolySpirit and let Him correct me, run it by someone else, tell myself the truth, take responsibility, and apologize where necessary. Not everybody has the emotional strength to do this.

So be sure to do this before you conclude the other person is the problem.

Also, people generally need to learn to be patient with people and their processes, as well as communicate to, and correct people, in love.

Anyway, I just said I was going home, and that was it. I never looked back! One thing about me, I hate drama and stress. Out of the abundance of the heart, the issues of life flow. So if the relationship is giving me anxiety and stressing me out, then it's a threat to God's plans and visions for my life, and I'm going to run away from you.

I'll forgive you and still love you with the love of Christ, but I've learnt that it's better to be liking eachother's posts, supporting eachother, and wishing eachother well from afar.

Because the devil can consistently use this person’s bad character to stress you and stifle the life out of you. We wrestle not against flesh and blood, remember?

But what kind of God allows you come face to face with your heart desires, then asks you to give it up? I guess a God who can be trusted with your life.

One whose thoughts towards you are of good and not of evil, to bring you to "an expected end." His own end, not yours. A God who knows you more than you know yourself, wants the best for you, and can do exceedingly, abundantly, above all you could ever ask, think, or imagine.

Now the problem was how I was going to break the news to a woman who had just fallen in love with me and was looking forward to having me on her team. I was so heartbroken. I didn't want to break her heart, and I hated to sound stupid or unserious.

So I spent some time praying, and I reached a place of "I fear God more than I fear man." So I brought myself to compose something I considered appropriate enough, and I sent it.

It took a while before she responded, but she finally did, wishing me well.

When I got home, I think I just showed my mum the offer letter and told her that the money was too small when I put accommodation and feeding into consideration, and I can make x 5 of the amount I was going to be paid, from my styling business in one month.

I don’t even know where that came from. 🤣😂 I didn’t even really believe that.😭 Anyway, I didn’t tell her "God said", even though I don’t think it would have been an issue since she’s used to me saying "God said", and never questions it.

I don't exactly remember why I didn't, but for some reason, she agreed with my explanation. Especially because the t.v.c job that I had done months before was proof of that possibility.

But let’s be honest, deep in my heart, it really felt like I was back to square one. 😭 No, what do I mean it felt like, I was actually back to square one😂; back to believing that I was working for God and showing up everyday with all diligence.

I must have been mad. Because wait, now that I'm having to share this, even I cannot believe I did all of that. I can totally get why certain people in my life would have honestly thought me unserious and given up on me.

Even I would have given up on myself, if I had been friends with me. 😭 or maybe not, because omo, I know how to believe in, and support people. 🙇🏽‍♀️

But yeah, I was back to square one. Or so I thought.

To be continued in the next episode!

Did you enjoy reading today’s episode? How did it make you feel? Was it helpful? Did you learn anything? what stood out for you? Let me know all of these, and more, in the comments. Also please like, share/repost for more reach!

If you have missed out on previous episodes, you should totally catch up below! ⬇️

#MauraHans #TheStylishPriest
#MyJourneyfromCreativeToEntrepreneur #Episode6of13 #Entrepreneurship #EveryWednesday #WednesdayMotivation #FaithAndCareer #FaithAndCareerAreNotMutuallyExclusive